Watched "My big fat idea" on channel 5 just now. I think my friend is only featured maybe in the later episodes bahs. Wahs.. I didn't know there is Musical Theatre Society in Singapore lahs. Can I join? I wanna sing and act in it.. Haiz.. Somehow I kinda doubt my ability to act and sing in a story. Why no confidence? maybe because I've never try before. I want to sing again!!!
Suddenly got the urge to improve my finger technique again. To upgrade my piano skills, so that I can sight read better and play like what I hear from recordings.. lolx.. If its even close enough. Hopefully. Maybe because after hearing the 2 piano concertos, I want to practice more.
Maybe practice till to the point that I am able to learn a piece faster, and have the confidence to play or try anything when requested. Maybe perhaps till to the point where I can accompany a group of string instruments. Wah.. suddenly have such aim. I want to go towards that, perhaps it'll take me to another level. =)
I wanna do something related to all these...
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
|*27th June' 06*|
When things happen and it all comes back to me. A sudden sadness washed over me. Those tough times that had been through.
Did I see wrongly? If not why is it then?
Is this some sort of retribution or something? For what I might have been.
Am I being Bad mouthed?
Is anyone laughing at me, for tasting my own medicine? To feel so helpless like what had been felt before.
Am I suppose to blame myself for everything that has happened?
Why does it make me look bad?
I dun feel it anymore, not like before. u aren't there like u said u would. I feel alone. Why is that when things start falling apart, everything esle just seems to follow suit?
Where is my Support? Where? No where?
Alone to clear up my own mess.
Aren't I as deserving as the rest? Is there a bad spell or something?=\
Why?
Haven I been through enough?
Left Out. Dislikeful Person?
Did I see wrongly? If not why is it then?
Is this some sort of retribution or something? For what I might have been.
Am I being Bad mouthed?
Is anyone laughing at me, for tasting my own medicine? To feel so helpless like what had been felt before.
Am I suppose to blame myself for everything that has happened?
Why does it make me look bad?
I dun feel it anymore, not like before. u aren't there like u said u would. I feel alone. Why is that when things start falling apart, everything esle just seems to follow suit?
Where is my Support? Where? No where?
Alone to clear up my own mess.
Aren't I as deserving as the rest? Is there a bad spell or something?=\
Why?
Haven I been through enough?
Left Out. Dislikeful Person?
Monday, June 26, 2006
|*Tak Boleh Tahan*|
Haiyo, Buai Da Han... Why am I so W-O-L-S....-.= Didn't take Mabia's suggestion to alight at CC. Still got that blanked reaction lahs.. Dots!! Only after that den I realise I cna just alight there, cross over to the LRT station to top-up my card den take the lrt down to petir den i can conviently walk the pasar malam to grab some food like my mom suggested den walk home.. Aiyo.. Instead I took to the interchange, den walk towards the other direction to top-up my card at the lrt station den walk back home...-.= And I didn't get some food and end up walking home with gastric pain stomach.. Dots!!!... -_-" so Dumb..-.-
Saturday, June 24, 2006
|*24th June*|
Wheee.. Back to S'pore le. Went to Sofitel Palm Resort on Friday morning. It just an hour plus away from the checkpoint. =) Kinda Excited lehs...=X Don't think any1 misses me bahs horx. My purpose of visit is to attend The Student Leader Seminar. To learn how to survive as a committee member.. LOLx.. Actually not like that lahs..
On friday itself, we're taught to differentiate between an invoice and a receipt. There's so many kind of receipt. Actually I did understand a little, like what must be looked for on a receipt itself, but I dun think I know which is an invoice and whether it has been paid anotx lahs. Also we get to spot the missing details required for a ticket for sale.
After lunch we were split into our perspective categories which NPS is under the Cultural and Arts Group. We are seated in 4 grps to discuss and plan an event to make NP a vibrant place, rich with culture and arts. And also what we want to see from our club and all the arts grp in the long run.
We were also given a small explaination and elaboration of NPSU. On what forms the council, and all.. actually I still dun fully understand how it all works lahs..-.=
Suppose to have an actibity called Dream Weaver, dunno what is that, but was cancelled, not sure why. Anyhow, we were all very delighted! heh, so we went for dinner den roam around the place. Was kinda disappointed coz we didnt get to swim, as the timing jus dun match, and the recreation euipment jus dun rock at all. They're kinda faulty, and the place closes at 9pm. Early huh. I think ard 830pm we can't play le lohs, coz they need to pack.-.= What seh... Sad-ed. With all that recreation cancelled, we really got nothing to do. I don't know what the rest did to entertain themselves though.
We went to sit on the pool side chairs and talk, and feeding me mosquitoes.-.= den wo went to the bar to watch soccer. Got big screen tv mahs.. hahahazZ. Bought some snacks to go along. Thought that Spain might score quite a no., but so unfortunately they only scored 1.-_-" Didn't stay up for the next match, which could be more exciting. Afraid that the next day will be too tired. so after a while went back to the hotel room. Rest.
Me 1st time at the hotel although I'm a member. coz I can't play golf in the greens so didnt get the chance to go there with my dad and bro. Anyhow, the room was not bad le, toliet big eh, i like, lol, got tub somemore. wahahazZ! My Roomie is Mabia. We're like so excited on the way to the room lahs.. lolx. Anyhow, I expected 2 single beds but it was a King sized 1 instead. Whao!O.o The view was facing the golfing green, not bad ehs.
1st time go resort under school with frens seh.. lolz. Feels like I'm in a luxurious camp. LOLx! Think I'm the only 1 in my family who 'd stayed there bahs. Wheee... =x
Anyhow, I need to do some reflection on what's learnt there, coz there was no time to do it there, and also need to answer some questions asked. Also hafta disseminate what I've learnt there to the rest of the Committee members and also need to write a report regarding the event. Hmmm.. Very sleepy now.
The bus I was in on the way back to S'pore was Super Comfortable! The seats were adjustable for sleeping with leg rest too, too bad the leg rest didnt work for me, but nevertheless, I slept solidly till the M'sian custom.
If only.................................................
On friday itself, we're taught to differentiate between an invoice and a receipt. There's so many kind of receipt. Actually I did understand a little, like what must be looked for on a receipt itself, but I dun think I know which is an invoice and whether it has been paid anotx lahs. Also we get to spot the missing details required for a ticket for sale.
After lunch we were split into our perspective categories which NPS is under the Cultural and Arts Group. We are seated in 4 grps to discuss and plan an event to make NP a vibrant place, rich with culture and arts. And also what we want to see from our club and all the arts grp in the long run.
We were also given a small explaination and elaboration of NPSU. On what forms the council, and all.. actually I still dun fully understand how it all works lahs..-.=
Suppose to have an actibity called Dream Weaver, dunno what is that, but was cancelled, not sure why. Anyhow, we were all very delighted! heh, so we went for dinner den roam around the place. Was kinda disappointed coz we didnt get to swim, as the timing jus dun match, and the recreation euipment jus dun rock at all. They're kinda faulty, and the place closes at 9pm. Early huh. I think ard 830pm we can't play le lohs, coz they need to pack.-.= What seh... Sad-ed. With all that recreation cancelled, we really got nothing to do. I don't know what the rest did to entertain themselves though.
We went to sit on the pool side chairs and talk, and feeding me mosquitoes.-.= den wo went to the bar to watch soccer. Got big screen tv mahs.. hahahazZ. Bought some snacks to go along. Thought that Spain might score quite a no., but so unfortunately they only scored 1.-_-" Didn't stay up for the next match, which could be more exciting. Afraid that the next day will be too tired. so after a while went back to the hotel room. Rest.
Me 1st time at the hotel although I'm a member. coz I can't play golf in the greens so didnt get the chance to go there with my dad and bro. Anyhow, the room was not bad le, toliet big eh, i like, lol, got tub somemore. wahahazZ! My Roomie is Mabia. We're like so excited on the way to the room lahs.. lolx. Anyhow, I expected 2 single beds but it was a King sized 1 instead. Whao!O.o The view was facing the golfing green, not bad ehs.
1st time go resort under school with frens seh.. lolz. Feels like I'm in a luxurious camp. LOLx! Think I'm the only 1 in my family who 'd stayed there bahs. Wheee... =x
Anyhow, I need to do some reflection on what's learnt there, coz there was no time to do it there, and also need to answer some questions asked. Also hafta disseminate what I've learnt there to the rest of the Committee members and also need to write a report regarding the event. Hmmm.. Very sleepy now.
The bus I was in on the way back to S'pore was Super Comfortable! The seats were adjustable for sleeping with leg rest too, too bad the leg rest didnt work for me, but nevertheless, I slept solidly till the M'sian custom.
If only.................................................
|*24th June' 06*|
gang cai yi lu zou hui jia de shi, kan jian you yi pai de tent. wo xiang, zai guo ji tian, ye jain ba sha jiu kai shi le. bu zhi zen me de, nao dai li ti chu le yi ge jian yi, jiu shi, song wo hui jia de lu tu, ke yi sun bian he ni yi ji guang yi guang lu bian de tan zi, dan ke xi, ni yi jing le kai le wo. na yi shi, wo you gan dao shi luo le, shang xin de zou hui jia. wo zhen bu ming bai, wei sen me wo yi zhi hui you zhe yang de xiang fa. jiu hui hen xiang he ni fen xiang zhe xie shi ke. mei dang you yi xie he peng you chu qu you wan de whi hou, dou hui xiang he ni fen xiang. wei sen me wo na me de xiang nian ni... wei sen me. wo zhi dao ying wei de bu xiao xin, er fa sheng. wei se me ren jiu shi zai shi qu le cai hou hui ne..? =(
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
|*20th June' 06*|
Can I just leave? Why am I still here? Why keep me when I'm just a Nobody in everyone's life? A black sheep whom people see when I'm around.
What have I done to deserve all this happenings that had been thrown towards me? Am I so Not Deserving? Why do I do things which I know should be avoided. (even right now.)
Is my life being bad mouth? Why am I so disliked and hated? Why do I feel this way when I thought everything is Ok? Why are things taken away from me just like that when I thought everything was going so well and acceptable? Why do I feel like this all over again? Why am I going through all this all over again? Why do I feel So Lost and Depress again?
Will I find Happiness that I deserve? Can I find it? When I find it, will this happen? Will it last forever till I walk on?
Why Do I Hurt them so carelessly?
Why do I drop things or lose them so carelessly?
Why? WHy?? WHY???
Is directly showing my dislike to some1 so dear so cruel?
Is hurting some1 so dear by pointing out my dislike a sin?
Am I being shaken by this 'bad thing' because I'm not as strong in my faith as usual or because I'm feeling and thinking this way?
Why do I feel so lonely, empty, lost?
Will I ever understand?
Why can others live without all this hindering them all the time?
Why Can't I have the same thing too?
What is He trying to tell me?
Am I that different?
What have I done to deserve all this happenings that had been thrown towards me? Am I so Not Deserving? Why do I do things which I know should be avoided. (even right now.)
Is my life being bad mouth? Why am I so disliked and hated? Why do I feel this way when I thought everything is Ok? Why are things taken away from me just like that when I thought everything was going so well and acceptable? Why do I feel like this all over again? Why am I going through all this all over again? Why do I feel So Lost and Depress again?
Will I find Happiness that I deserve? Can I find it? When I find it, will this happen? Will it last forever till I walk on?
Why Do I Hurt them so carelessly?
Why do I drop things or lose them so carelessly?
Why? WHy?? WHY???
Is directly showing my dislike to some1 so dear so cruel?
Is hurting some1 so dear by pointing out my dislike a sin?
Am I being shaken by this 'bad thing' because I'm not as strong in my faith as usual or because I'm feeling and thinking this way?
Why do I feel so lonely, empty, lost?
Will I ever understand?
Why can others live without all this hindering them all the time?
Why Can't I have the same thing too?
What is He trying to tell me?
Am I that different?
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Wheee.. I knew the Aussies would win...wahahazZ... =X Japan played well though..lolz.. Japan no. 7.. what's his name eh.. I forgot le.. he's got the actor kinda look leh..looke a bit like 1 of the actors..=X gud lookin eh..kekex..
Wah.. America vs Czech... Czech very powerful buddenz America is like...=\ Their finishing no gud leh...-.= Boring match.. American ranked 4th in the world?? Is tt a joke or something??!! lolz... *pEngz*..
I can't wait for England Match!!! England!! Erikson dun be too cautious can..lolz.. =X
Wah.. America vs Czech... Czech very powerful buddenz America is like...=\ Their finishing no gud leh...-.= Boring match.. American ranked 4th in the world?? Is tt a joke or something??!! lolz... *pEngz*..
I can't wait for England Match!!! England!! Erikson dun be too cautious can..lolz.. =X
Sunday, June 11, 2006
|*11th June' 06*|
Ahh... Virtuoso XIII!!! Can say it was a blast!! hee.. My 1st time performing @ VCH!! Exciting eh..lolz.. Such a grEAt Experience..=) Thought I would be nervous, but den was not lahs..though I was afraid that something might go wrong for me lahs..=.- ahahha.. Schedule was tight, had to make use of the time waiting to do other things. eg, dinner, changing, make-up, wateva wateva... Took quite a lot of pics.. Arhs.. I want a gud digital Camera...=.- Daddy Pls...=x.. LOLx..
Steinway & Sons Grand piano is good lahs..!!! Looks old buddenz the feeling and sound freaking gud. *ShuAng*! Plus played in VCH..even better..hehe.. 1st time on stage playing piano, ermx, gud thing it wasnt for a real performance, but jus for 'fun' tt kind, if not arhs..can Jam.. otherwise was alright though it wasn't as gud as practice..=\
Overall performance can say it's better than practice le.. but I felt that some songs I'm in isnt tt great though.. coz of rushing or wad, but managed to come back, hopefully it wasnt known lahs...ahaha... =x The impact was goOd though..=) I EnjOyed MySelf!!!=)
Ejoyable fun day, all the practices and drills are made worthy. Hee.. Good to see every1 dressing up for the event..LOLx..
Personal Thots:
Wasn't 100% for me though, could be and Will be if things were better and had not happened. If it was more natural.. =\
Steinway & Sons Grand piano is good lahs..!!! Looks old buddenz the feeling and sound freaking gud. *ShuAng*! Plus played in VCH..even better..hehe.. 1st time on stage playing piano, ermx, gud thing it wasnt for a real performance, but jus for 'fun' tt kind, if not arhs..can Jam.. otherwise was alright though it wasn't as gud as practice..=\
Overall performance can say it's better than practice le.. but I felt that some songs I'm in isnt tt great though.. coz of rushing or wad, but managed to come back, hopefully it wasnt known lahs...ahaha... =x The impact was goOd though..=) I EnjOyed MySelf!!!=)
Ejoyable fun day, all the practices and drills are made worthy. Hee.. Good to see every1 dressing up for the event..LOLx..
Personal Thots:
Wasn't 100% for me though, could be and Will be if things were better and had not happened. If it was more natural.. =\
Saturday, June 10, 2006
|*10th June' 06*|
Blogging now just to say that NPStrings Virtuoso 13th is Later!!! LOLx.. 1st ever major performance at such an historic place where famous pple have performed there b4..lolx.. BleAhz... Prays that everything goes smoothly.. Jia You PPLE. NPStrings Rules TONIGHT!!=)
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
|*6th June' 06*|
Haiz.. NM.. what kinda questions are those manz... It's either I didn't listen in class or wadsoever la.. -.= What are the 3 Legal set-ups for a Nursery, erms.. are we even told?? =\ and so many many things... dotx.. -.=||
Went to the clubhse to study, but not much went in. Don't know why lehs.. I got a lot inside my head on saturday why can't I jus now? Doze on and off.. played piano, den study, doze again..-.= Kept thinking of... it seems tt I've lost my inspirations, my support. ='(
On my way home got this idiot who keeps starring. Darn pissed off, never see girl in red specs b4 arh.. my face got thing mehs...stare wad stare.. Idiotx lehs.. plus walk the same way as me la.. Freaked me out lo.. kns.. Some dumb ass.. Better don't lemme see ur darn face again. Freaky...=.-||
Went to the clubhse to study, but not much went in. Don't know why lehs.. I got a lot inside my head on saturday why can't I jus now? Doze on and off.. played piano, den study, doze again..-.= Kept thinking of... it seems tt I've lost my inspirations, my support. ='(
On my way home got this idiot who keeps starring. Darn pissed off, never see girl in red specs b4 arh.. my face got thing mehs...stare wad stare.. Idiotx lehs.. plus walk the same way as me la.. Freaked me out lo.. kns.. Some dumb ass.. Better don't lemme see ur darn face again. Freaky...=.-||
Monday, June 05, 2006
|*Photos during heArts @ NP*|
Hey Peeps!!! Here are finally some pics to 'Brighten my Blog' LOLx..Taken during heArts @NP!
Me & DJ @ heArtsNP!!=)
LOLz.. erms... Lystra cao High?? =x
Me & Lystra! Notice the head of the stand infront
of Lystra's teeth, as if she's wearing braces lehs..=x
NPS peeps @ heArts @ NP =)
Hee.. Nice horx.. =))
Proudly Presents :
NPS 15th Management Committee.. hehe..=p
Hmm.. Reminds me of childhood leh..
Shou qian Shou..WahahazZ!Got Balloon somemore=)
Me & DJ again.. Diff Angle.. heee..=x
Opps I look off, tt's coz I landed already...-.=
Look @ those 2, jump so High.. got spring.. LOLx..
Me & XX!! We X'changed Specs..LOLz..
She said I look gay in hers...Do I? =
Me & Mabia!! Nice Pic hOrx!! =D
That's all for heArts @NP.. Sigh.. got 1 yi han.. nvr take pic with someone.. ='(
Me & DJ @ heArtsNP!!=)
LOLz.. erms... Lystra cao High?? =x
Me & Lystra! Notice the head of the stand infront
of Lystra's teeth, as if she's wearing braces lehs..=x
NPS peeps @ heArts @ NP =)
Hee.. Nice horx.. =))
Proudly Presents :
NPS 15th Management Committee.. hehe..=p
Hmm.. Reminds me of childhood leh..
Shou qian Shou..WahahazZ!Got Balloon somemore=)
Me & DJ again.. Diff Angle.. heee..=x
Opps I look off, tt's coz I landed already...-.=
Look @ those 2, jump so High.. got spring.. LOLx..
Me & XX!! We X'changed Specs..LOLz..
She said I look gay in hers...Do I? =
Me & Mabia!! Nice Pic hOrx!! =D
That's all for heArts @NP.. Sigh.. got 1 yi han.. nvr take pic with someone.. ='(
|*5th June' 06*|
1st CT paper today, can score de, but I kenna tricked and 4got some. haiz.. Tmr's paper nvr study.. sad-ed.. I kept playing piano.. how? -.= Now sleepy liaoz... I wonder wonder wonder.. hmmm... 0.O ...
Sunday, June 04, 2006
|*4th June' 06*|
I'm glad tt I did Studied the whole day yesterday lahs...LOLx...my gudness lo.. today nvr study much lo..just can't absorb lahs... Went to church, go plaza a while, reach home, had lunch.. tried to study but slpt..=\ den got xx msg den gan chiong wake up search for songs..lolx.. played the piano for like 2hrs.. den watch tv la....-.-/.. den try to study.. at least got something into my head..lolx.. till now.. haiz.. Got distracted A lot! Kept thinking of U.. i don't know why.. read my notes... read read.. den slowly wonder to u.. I know I have to study.. but it just kept happening.. sigh... I guess I really Miss u.. I can't let go... All these time I managed to or force myself to focus on my class and club work, but I'm being to get distracted more nowadays.. It's still in me.. imprinted on my heart..I haven forgotten anything..
Friday, June 02, 2006
|*2nd June' 06*|
PM Test Today.. Wrote the Essay lo... I missed out 1 point, but hopefully whatever I wrote would answer the question.
Anywayz.. I don't know how I spent my rest of the day lahs kays..
Haiz.. I spill all those junks out. Make myself be hated or disliked. But if I don't feel I can drown.
Now CT period, means need to study, weekends too. Brings back lotsa stuff especially that particular day. Dang wo jie shou ning de yao chiu, dang wo men made a 'pact', fang xia wo de dan xin, wo men da ying le. Zhen de hen xiang nian, xiang le bu zhi bu jue jiu han xiang liew lei. Li bai tian ye lai xue xiao, yi qi du shu, yi qi pei ban ze dui fang, xiang shou.ke yi shuo lang man bahs..=x Duo me xi wang ke yi zai you ze shi jian. =( Mei dang wo xiang zhuo yi jian shi huo you ze me huo dong, di yi ke xiang yao fen xiang de ren jiu shi ni, xiang yao yi qi he zhuo de ye shi ni. Jiu shi bu zhi bu jue de di yi ke xiang dao de ren jiu shi ni. Wei she me hui ze yang ne.. hen xiang ni lo.. wo de se me ji hua dou hui you ni de cun zai.
Anywayz.. I don't know how I spent my rest of the day lahs kays..
Haiz.. I spill all those junks out. Make myself be hated or disliked. But if I don't feel I can drown.
Now CT period, means need to study, weekends too. Brings back lotsa stuff especially that particular day. Dang wo jie shou ning de yao chiu, dang wo men made a 'pact', fang xia wo de dan xin, wo men da ying le. Zhen de hen xiang nian, xiang le bu zhi bu jue jiu han xiang liew lei. Li bai tian ye lai xue xiao, yi qi du shu, yi qi pei ban ze dui fang, xiang shou.ke yi shuo lang man bahs..=x Duo me xi wang ke yi zai you ze shi jian. =( Mei dang wo xiang zhuo yi jian shi huo you ze me huo dong, di yi ke xiang yao fen xiang de ren jiu shi ni, xiang yao yi qi he zhuo de ye shi ni. Jiu shi bu zhi bu jue de di yi ke xiang dao de ren jiu shi ni. Wei she me hui ze yang ne.. hen xiang ni lo.. wo de se me ji hua dou hui you ni de cun zai.
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